New Year's Fire

When I was first born, my parents lived in the upper floor of a double that my grandparents owned.  When I was two, my parents bought a house a block and a half away from my grandparents.  I have virtually no memories of my grandpa, as he died when I was only four.  But many of my best childhood memories involve my grandmother, holidays at her house, sleeping over and getting to watch cable because we didn't have it...you know, those memories that just stick in your head.  Cheerios with banana, roast beef and mashed potatoes, her crazy poodle named Pierre...

Grandma died when I was a freshman in college.  She had been sick and was in a nursing home.  I had been home the weekend before and she was very lucid and we had a great visit.  The next weekend, Mom told me not to make the two hour drive home because it was not necessary.  At about midnight on Friday, I picked up the message on our machine to call my mom right away.  I knew, even without calling her back, that Grandma had passed away.  She was the last of my grandparents.  As previously mentioned, my maternal grandfather died when I was 4.  My paternal grandfather died when I was 6, but we did not have a relationship with him really.  My paternal grandmother died when my dad was 17 at the age of 42 from breast cancer.

This morning, my grandmother's house burned down.  It was owned by my uncle (my mom's sister's husband) and their son lived on the second floor of the duplex.  There was a family of 6 living on the first floor.  Everyone got out safe.  

I am saddened by the loss of the house.  I know that memories live in our heads and hearts and that things and places are insignificant, but I am so sad to see the house destroyed.  It was the home my mom grew up in, the home to which we had so many holidays, and the home to which I ran away to one day while angry with my dad.  And it makes me miss my grandmother so much that I ache.  I wanted her to see me get married so much and she was unable to.  I know she is with me always; my engagement ring was hers.  I just miss her.