Mommy Guilt

Two years ago, I made a really difficult decision to resign as the drama advisor for the high school where I teach. It was really tough on me, but I was planning a wedding, starting my administrative internship and one stepdaughter had very suddenly moved in with us (the youngest would come along two years later). When I resigned, my good friend and musical director stepped in and I knew my kids were in good hands. Unfortunately, this good friend lost her job due to district-wide cuts and my drama kids were given a new director.

Two weeks ago, the opportunity arose for me to take back over. Five weeks before our musical. Which happens to be West Side Story. With kids I really don't know. And yes, I took it on. We have 16 days to go until our show and I am fully confident that my kids can do this.

C and the girls have been nothing but supportive. In fact, C has told me to take over for next year as well. Unfortunately, I am at rehearsals until 6, 7, 8, 9, even 10 PM from now until mid-May.

And I am missing my baby boy. Some days I pick him from his sitter's and take him to rehearsal with me until C can come and get him and other days C gets him after work. Today, I cried during 2nd period in our office because I was missing him so much. I feel like a bad mom to him and the girls because I am never home. Torn in a million directions. Exhausted. And with some sort of allergy-thing going on that is causing my eyelids to be dry and irritated (WTF is THAT all about??).

So, if the blog is sparse the next few weeks, PLEASE stick with me because I will be back in full force soon!