Longing

Just having a moment where I am full of longing for the one thing I want most in this world.  It is tugging at my heartstrings and causing my eyes to well up, just a bit.

Every once and a while, I think it is okay to have these moments full of self-pity, to feel completely selfish just for a moment or two.  

After a weekend full of baby-holding (an adorable five-month old baby girl) and rubbing baby bellies (my MOH is finally looking pregnant enough to rub her belly for baby vibes and not look like I am just molesting her), my uterus is tugging.  I am so full of joy for my friends and their babies and so thankful they have been able to give birth to such healthy and happy little ones, but there are moments when I am overcome with sadness and jealousy.

I do not think this makes me a bad person; I think it makes me human.