Binge-tastic

It ends tonight. Seriously.

Back to WW

So I restarted WW today. I had technically still been registered at my location, but had not been to a meeting since September 4 or something. I decided, after watching the video of the Big Pink Whale, that I really needed to recommit. So I went back and reset my stats.

I weighed in at 201.8, which is only a gain of .8 in a month.

I can do it. I KNOW that I can.

I want to scan in some pictures of myself from my senior year of HS. It was right about this time that year that I had a reality check and realized I needed to do something. This is that moment, replayed. Pictures can say a thousand words. Not only does my weight make me unhealthy, but unhappy. I am not myself. I do not laugh as easily as I used to and my temper is shorter. I do not feel attractive and want to often curl up into a ball and wish the world away. And I no longer want to feel like that.

A Good Day

Today was a good day. Even though I feel like complete ass and want to crawl in to bed and sleep for 48 hours, I am attempting to remain OP, even while going out to eat.

Here is my menu today:
B: 1 C Honey Nut Cheerios (2)
1 C Skim (2)

S: Special K bar (2)

L: Rockne's:
Salad with a grilled buffalo chicken breast and ranch dressing. I ate less than half.
french onion soup
3/4 of a pita

S: Pretzels (2)

D: Grilled cheese (5)
Tomato soup (2)

Back to meetings tomorrow, after a month on hiatus. Seeing The Big Pink Whale has given me renewed motivation and I no longer want to feel like a fatass everywhere we go.

Incidentally, I think I need to work on more positive self-talk. I trash myself constantly, and I know it. Any advice or suggestions?

Menu for Monday, 10/6

B: Weight Control oatmeal (3)
L: TBD
S: String Cheese (1)
D: Shepherd's Pie (5)
S: LF Kettle corn (2)

Not much of a menu, but I have to go grocery shopping, as we have no food. I am going to try and actually start writing a grocery list again so I am not spending as much.

Anthony and Heidi's Wedding

Some more pictures... The bride and groom, after I DO! Still hard to believe my little brother is married!
The beautiful bride and me!

My hubby (in the middle) and brothers...what a handsome group!
CAKE!

The Attack of the Big Pink Whale

This weekend was Anthony and Heidi's wedding. She had asked me to be a bridesmaid so I knew that I was going to end up wearing a pink dress. Friday I met Heidi, her mom, sister and bridesmaid Angie for lunch. Two other bridesmaids then met us at the salon for manicures and pedicures, then I headed home to get Jamie and myself ready. My father-in-law picked up Alexys for us and they met us before we headed to dinner. The rehearsal went well, and it was chaotic for a moment, because many people live out of town (or state), so people were trying to catch up. We finished up at the church and headed to dinner.This is at the rehearsal dinner at Champps. Yummy food and it was really cute because they had decorated for Halloween, so there were orange lights everywhere and the fireplace in the party room was lit. The girls both looked adorable and although you can not see them, I have on awesome patent leather red peep toe shoes. Heidi got Anthony a groom's cake...Love doesn't hurt. Chuck Norris does. He was surprised and everyone laughed. He loves The Norris.
Now we are getting to the pink whale part. This is Charles and I walking down the aisle...
...and this is us after the ceremony...
...and the four of us at the reception

Could I look any larger? I felt pretty good the night before at the rehearsal, and thought that the dress was pretty flattering. Apparently it was...on everyone else. The wedding was beautiful and Heidi did an amazing job planning the reception. She and my brother took dancing lessons on the sly, so their first dance was really sweet. It was proof of how much my brother loves Heidi. He NEVER would have done it for anyone else. The dance floor was packed all night and everyone had a blast. The kids were exhausted by the end of the night and fell asleep immediately when we got into the car. My feet were killing me.

Today was a brunch at Heidi and Anth's and a baby shower for her very pregnant sister. When we were over there, they had on the video that Heidi's brother-in-law took and during the ceremony, it happened to be focused on my back. HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL. I need no more motivation than that.

Jenny's wedding is in April, and I refuse to be the fat bridesmaid. I can not do that again. It is bad enough I will forever look at my brother's pictures and see my fat self and I won't be the same for Jenny's wedding in April. In fact, I may order my dress a size smaller so it for sure will fit. I am so disappointed with myself that I have let it get this far and I honestly can not believe it.

Enough of this. Play time is over.

Wednesday, 10/1

Shooting for 30 straight days OP. We have a lot going on this month, with two weddings and a Halloween party, so if I can score MOST days OP, it will be worth it.

B: 1 egg (2)
2 slices toast (2)
1 C skim milk (2)
S: 2 ounces moz cheese (2)
RF crackers (2)
L: Spicy Boca chik'n patty (3)
RF moz (2)
Pizza sauce
S: WW yogurt (1)
Apple (1)
Pretzels (2)